Well, I am now 6 days from my appointment at Carolina
and I truly cannot wait... I guess my reason for for the "I can't wait"
is the unknown... There are SO many things I do not know and each time
someone asks me - I have to simply answer... "I do not know".. I don't
mean to sound ignorant, but I truly do not know right now much except
that I have to have chemo and that's about it.
There is a small
part of me that would like to run away and not have to deal with all of
this, but I know that is NOT the grown up way to handle things and no...
this is NOT the way I wanted to spend my summer vacation, but as my
friend Monique says... "it's always something"... and this year.. It's
been SOMETHING alright.. More than anyone even DREAMED it could be. I
have been in such overdrive with this for so long now that sometimes I
feel like I could wake up and this was all a dream... but this is not a
dream --- its reality.
I am seeing progress each day in my
recovery and I am seeing less and less time that I am having to take
naps, but maybe just going and laying down for a few minutes just to
"recharge" myself. I don't want anyone to think I am discouraged or
irritated I am not - its just all so "NEW" and different than my
"NORMAL". Anyone who knows me knows nothing in my life is "NORMAL"....
Sunday
- I was so happy to see someone I have not seen in a long time... My
mom's best friends Frances and Tommy Norris. Frances was one of my mom's
best friends and it was so wonderful to see her and Tommy... I got to
hear some great stories about my mom and it felt like my mom was there
with us at dinner.... Frances and Tommy are very dear and even though we
don't see them much I felt like we picked up where we left off... It
was wonderful.
I know you all may be getting tired of me saying
thank you, but I must say - the cards, the phone calls, the emails, the
text messags, the dinners brought over, the flowers, all of it - it has
been so wonderful. I can honestly tell you - I have learned from this
experience - these things really do help out during this time.
I
would like to say ----- for those I have not called back - please do
not be upset - I do care and want to talk to you, but I have to do it in
due time. It's not easy for me to be this way, but as I said... it's my
"New Normal" and I have to heal from my surgery and get myself geared
up for my NEW journey....
I would like to say that I did go back to work yesterday - even though I
wasn't there but for 3 hours and I am still not driving - I was there and was able to ring up
customers and even helped a few people... which was exciting! I find
myself now getting so excited over things in the past would be "little
things", but its the little things that get us through journeys like
this one.
I thank you ALL for the continued love and support... This is a fight and I am up for it.. especially with the support from YOU!
Thank you all ---
Love you all,
Nan~
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